The Creative Act - A Way of Being

Your old work isn’t better than your new work. And your new work isn’t better than the old. There will be highs and lows throughout an artist’s life. To assume there was a golden period and you’re past it is only true if you accept that premise.

Your best effort is all you can ever hope to give. The output isn’t good nor bad; it just is.

We could work on something for another two years, and it will be different. But there’s no way to know if it will be better or worse - only different.

This feels applicable in many scenarios to me. I’m thinking with respect to products right now. When you change an app, you don’t know if it will be better or worse. That’s why you measure the outcomes. But when you change too much, you can no longer measure. It becomes a guess. Ideally, you want to constrain and measure as intelligently as possible so that you can get a greater grasp on the impact of the change. Otherwise your app isn’t improving, it’s just different.

Our definition of self-awareness as artists relates directly to the way we tune in to our inner experience, not the way we are externally perceived. The more we identify with our self as it exists through the eyes of others, the more disconnected we become and the less energy we have to draw from.

The more we identify with the way that other people see us, the more disconnected we become from our inner self. While their perception might be close, it will never be the same. And the difference is everything. The difference is the details that make an individual unique. This is why labels and generalizations are not useful constructs for describing an individual.

We are seeking not to define ourselves, but to expand ourselves, to tune in to our limitless nature and connection to all that is. Self-awareness is a transcendence. An abandonment of ego. A letting go.

I think this is why I always come back to reading and writing. The more I write, the better I understand myself. At times, it goes off the rails and I start writing for some other reason. A reason that isn’t clear to me to be honest. That would be an interesting area to interrogate some day. Maybe that is how I tackle nebulous problems so that I may one day understand them.

Anyways, I feel his statement is true for me. The more that I write, the more I understand myself. And the more I understand myself, the more comfortable I am simply being myself in any situation. In a content way. I have learned to recognize my emotions and not allow myself to become my emotions.

As artists, we are on a continual quest to get closer to the universe by getting closer to self. Moving ever nearer to the point where we can no longer tell where one begins and the other ends.

This is what I feel in times of complete contentment. When I am not living inside of my head, I feel undefined. I feel as if I am simply there and I am experiencing the world around me. I don’t recall having ever felt this prior to my 20s.

There's a dullness in sameness. At a certain point in the creator's journey, the mind can become more resistant to new methods or new styles of expression. A once-useful routine might, over time, turn into a narrow, fixed way of working. To break out of this mindset, our charge is to soften, to become more porous, and to let more light in. To keep the artistic output evolving, continually replenish the vessel from which it comes. And actively stretch your point of view.

I felt that feeling this morning when I woke up. I rolled out of bed, walked into the living room, and turned the kettle on. I felt a sense of "ugh, this again" even though I was looking forwards to the contents of today. I've since taken a shower and sat down to read, and I feel differently. But that momentary collapse in excitement is dangerous to creativity if it happens too many times. If I didn't shake off the feeling, I would be sitting at my desk, resenting my day.

Perhaps an occassional change in schedule is warranted. Yes, early in the morning is when I do my best work. But maybe every few days, I start my day by walking along the beach or going to the gym. Something different than gives me energy in a different way. Maybe that schedule turns into my routine for awhile and through that I find energy at different times of the day.

If you sit down to write with no preparation or forethought, you might bypass the conscious mind and draw from the unconscious. You may find what emerges holds a charge that cannot be duplicated through rational means. This approach is at the heart of some forms of jazz. When musicians are improving a piece, preconceived ideas of what to play can prevent the performance from taking flight.

Art exists in the same cycle of death and rebirth. We participate in this by completing one project so that we can start anew. As in life, each ending invites a fresh beginning. When consumed with a single work to the degree that we believe it's our life's mission, there's no room for the next one to develop.

This is exactly what I experience when I am working at my job. I have so many ideas that I would love to work on in my personal time, but my mind is capable of handling only one creative endeavor at a time. Every once in awhile I can align the vision of my job sand the vision of my projects to work on both, but that's a difficult point to reach and to sustain.

Seriousness saddles the work with a burden. It misses the playful side of being human. The chaotic exuberance of being present in the world. The lightness of pure enjoyment for enjoyment's sake.

Business types miss this in a work environment. Everything is so serious and literal to them. They don't know how to relax the mind to allow creative energy into the mix.

If a four-year old loses interest in an activity, they don't try to complete it or force themselves to have fun with it. They just shift gears to a new quest. Another form of play.

I love this one. To be creative is to be child like. You can't force it.

There are jobs that demand your time but little else. You can protect the art you make by choosing an occupation that gives you mental space to formulate and develop your creative vision of the world.

Right... I need to get better at translating work to play or work to personal projects. There is sufficient overlap that one can be useful to the other.