Journey
January 2023
My vision of my future involves continuously exploring myself and the world in an attempt to better understand what it means to be conscious.
That means... having an income that is capable of providing for me and my loved ones. It doesn’t mean… stockpiling cash. It means having enough.
That means... taking care of my body and my mind. That does not mean exercising for vanity.
That means... cooking new dishes, learning how to make music, spending the summer in France to experience French culture, going sailing, learning a new language, writing a book.
That means... being my true self at all times, especially when it’s uncomfortable.
That means... being present during the journey and not obsessing over outcomes.
Why "journey" and why not "goals"
There is virtue in doing things for the sake of doing them.
If you expect an outcome from an individual (buy my product, subscribe to my newsletter), you are attempting to control their actions. You are deemed not trusthworthy because it cannot be assumed that you have their best interest in mind. A practical example of this occurs in dating when women perceive a man as strictly wanting sex. It feels "icky" becaue people value their autonomy. They do not want to be a resource for someone else to posses or use.
A practical example to illustrate this point is the difference between having to goal to reach the summit of a mountain versus the journey of hiking mountains. If your goal is to reach the summit of a mountain, you will be less present throughout the hike. You are less likely to stop a appreciate the beauty of nature because you are set on reaching the time. You will have a fixed schedule with expectations. You are more likely to push through injury. You experience this with coding; you know this feeling. Alternatively, if you hike to hike, you take your time. You are present with each step. You will notice the texture of the terrain and the smell of the trees. You aren't trying to get anywhere. You're just hiking.
Your experience is enrichened by orienting yourself towards the journey and the not the goal. You may end up in the same geographical location, but your experience will not be the same.
But obviously, you're hiking in a direction. How do you end up anywhere or decide what to do if there isn't direction to the journey?
A "goal" implies success or failure; the attainment or non-attainment of a discrete objective. A goal is a judgement about an event. If you reach the goal, you have succeeded. If you do not, you have failed.
Setting a direction is a non-judgemental pursuit of an experience. You aren't trying to achieve anything. Setting a direction is about experiencing something. There is no success or failure. Instead, it focuses on what you felt as the event took place.
Your actions are decided upon by determining what direction you would like to go. Would you like experience the peak of a mountain that extends above the clouds? Would you like to have that experience with a friend or do you want to experience what it's like to make that journey solo? Based on your answer to those questions, you make decisions about what to do.
Why do you journey at all?
This is an attempt to find meaning in my life. It is a way for me to decide how I should use my time. To answer that, I need to consider what is worthing spending time doing. And to answer that, I need to consider what I want to feel because ultimately, I'm a sack of neurons. I see, hear, touch, smell, and taste physical sensations, and I mentally experience emotions. Everything I do ultimately comes back to that; I am a creature that experiences physical and mental feelings.
This is how I arrived at "continuously exploring myself and the world in an attempt to better understand what it means to be conscious". I experience things because I am conscious. By being conscious, I can make sense of what it means to "see, hear, touch, smell, and taste" or to experience emotions. The more that I experience, the more I am conscious of. By becoming conscious of more, I expand the scope of what it means to be "alive".
So, all of that said, what are the important journeys to have?
Journey #1 - The journey to resource stability
Resource stability is a vital component of exporing consciousness because it preserves my autonomy. Without it, I will be subject to whatever the market (or world) decides because I must have resources in order to survive.
By gaining resource stability, I ensure safety for myself and my loved ones through times of economic downturn and changing labor markets.
- Diversification. Earn income from more than one source.
- Acquire assets. Buy things that preserve or accrue value.
- Build credibility. Develop a voice that separates you from the rest of the labor market.
- Maintain relevance. Learn new skills so that you are never behind the market's needs.
Example: you own a home, you run a business that generates $3,000 per month in profit, you have a credibile technical voice that make it easy to acquire consulting engagements, and you're knowledgable in the latest languages and frameworks.
Counter-exmaple: your only source of income is the hourly wage that you earn writing React apps.
Journey #2 - The journey to physical and mental security
Physical health and mental stability are vital components of consciousness because without them, my ability to experience is either hampered (in the case of physical pain or mental instability) or entire removed (inability to do things such as walk or swim or in the most dire of situations, death).
- Exercise for strength and durability.
- Exercise for cardiovascular health.
- Eat for health.
- Stretch for longevity.
- Avoid exercising for vanity.
- Interrogate harsh, negative emotions to develop mental resolve.
- Write or speak to work through difficult emotional states.
Journey #3 - The journey to see, hear, touch, smell, and taste
These are the bodily sensations that I can physically experience. There are many more nuanced physical sensations, like the rush of adrenaline after jumping out of a plane.
- Cook new dishes. Expand your palette.
- Make music. Learn to hear music.
- View art. Observe the detail in an intricate painting.
- Light a candle. Smell a new scent.
- Make a clay sculpture. Feel the material.
- Do a Tezmacal ceremony.
- Climb a natural rock wall.
- Go swimming in a waterfall.
Journey #4 - The journey to explore and expand your mind
Note, this may not be disconnected from the physical sensations. It's arguable that the mind and body work together in order to feel or emote. That said, I think there are some journeys unique to the mind.
- Read and write about philosophy and psychology. Continuously develop your understanding of the world.
- Learn new things. Study a topic that is new to you.
Journey #5 - The journey of connectedness
This may not be disconnected from any of the other journeys. Relationships may amplify everything. Experiences feel different when you do them with other people and even more so when it's with someone that you care about.
Maintain and strengthen meaningful, compassionate relationships with my family, friends, and partner.
Develop new relationships.
- Join new communities to make new friends.
- Facetime, text, and call people.
- Travel to friends and family.
- Make plans with people.
- Message and email people that are in my existing communities.
Example: randomly Facetime mom, make trip plans with Pradeep, message an underwater photographer and ask if you can dive with them.
Orienting myself
To "orient" myself means to assign purpose and direction to my actions. Below, I am keeping assesing my current activities to ensure that they fit within a journey and to ensure that they are not superficially motivated.
Remember that it's about the journey and that my actions are not intended to be goals. Rather than asking "how do I get there" ask "what are some activities I can do that are part of this journey?"
Journey #1 - The journey to resource stability
How am I achieving resource stability? What am I doing to build diversification, remain relevant, build credibility, and acquire assets?
(Credibility) I am building a personal website. My personal website will have my projects and my writings. My writings, for the journey of credibility, will exist on my personal website and will consist of technical tutorials and discussions. On my website, I will demonstrate technical proficiency in software development as well as knowledge of the blue economy. On Twitter, I will post about technical topics. In discussion groups, I will answer questions to hlep people.
(Credibility) I am learning how to record underwater videos and edit them in Davinci Resolve. By doing so, I will demonstrate technical professional in video editing and photography as well as an interest in marine life.
(Diversification) I am building Dive Zoo. I am growing an online community for scuba divers that will provide them with the benefits that come with community.
(Diversification & Acquire Assets) I am investing in the stock market.
(Relevance) I am learning how to edit and record videos.
(Relevance) I am learning to build with stable diffusion.
(Relevance) I am learning new technical skills while working at Spark Labs.
I feel that I need to allocate more attention to building credibility and diversification.
Journey #2 - The journey to physical and mental security
What am I doing to build physical and mental security?
(Physical) I eat healthy. I limit my alcohol consumption to a reasonable amount. I'm not overly strict with my dieting. I exercise daily. I am building cardiovascular endurance.
(Mental) I am writing in the mornings and reading in the evenings. When I feel as though I am working too much, I take a break. I talk to Pradeep whenever I feel I need to discuss an important topic.
(Physical) I am getting adequate sleep so that I awake feeling rested.
I could improve my mindset when interacting with social media. I could be less judgmental and negative. I could be more considerate and loving. I could be more open-minded. I could project my insecurities less.
I could stretch more often. My body is tight; I could do yoga.
I could swim more often. That would directly aid my journey in scuba diving.
Journey #3 - The journey to see, hear, touch, smell, and taste
What am I doing to experience the world? What new sights am I exploring? What new tastes or smells am I experiencing? What am I hearing different? What do I feel that's new?
I regularly visit the beach.
I am lighting incense.
I am trying new flavors of wine.
I am tasting new foods in Mexico.
I am listening to new music.
I am wearing cologne more often and enjoying the smell of it.
I am wearing different clothing.
I could better improve my present-ness. I am not always "there" when I am eating or listening to music. Sometimes, I forget to truly taste the food.
I could more strongly embrace my changing identity. I am uncomfortable about being the gringo in Mexico. I feel different, in a negative way. Rather than feeling negative about it, I should feel comfortable being myself. If that means wearing Boho chic clothes, do it. If that means wearing gym clothes, do it. If that means speaking bad Spanish or speaking English when everyone is speaking Spanish, do it.
Journey #4 - The journey to explore and expand your mind
What am I doing to explore my mind? What new things am I learning?
(Explore) I am reading in the morning and at night.
(Explore) I am writing in the mornings.
(Expand) I am learning how to edit videos.
(Expand) I am learning new skills in scuba diving.
(Expand) I am learning how to grow a product.
(Expand) I am learning stabel diffusion.
(Expand) I am learning new programming skills.
Journey #5 - The journey of connectedness
What am I doing to feel connected? How am I maintaing and strengthening my current relationships? What am I doing to build new connections?
(Existing) I am giving attention to my relationship with Cristina. I am not allowing work to dominate nor am I allowing my mood to sour if work is interrupted. This was not something that I was good at managing in the past.
(Existing) I am hosting my mother in Mexico.
(Existing) Soon, I will be hosting Pradeep in Mexico.
(Existing) I am texting folks when I think about them. I'm not holding back and I am trying to avoid feeling insecure.
(New) I am interacting with people on social media. I am liking their posts if they bring me joy and I am commenting if I have something to contribute.
(New) I am helping people in technical discussions online. Whenever I feel like I can help, I contribute.
(New) I am building an online community with Dive Zoo.
I need to be brave; I need to be myself even when it's uncomfortable. Lately, I have been fearful. I've been afraid of expressing myself because I'm afraid of being perceived in a negative light. I must do better to recognize that that's a different form of self-centeredness. It's the opposite of confidence; it's the fear of being discovered as a fraud or beginner or some other negative self-image. Instead of thinking that everyone is looking at me because I'm great (vanity), I'm thinking that everyone is noticing how not-great I am (insecurity).